Johanna Garth is the author of The Persephone Campbell Series; a modern take on the myth of Hades and Persephone. Johanna lives in McLean, Virginia with her husband and two children.
Monday, August 1, 2011
The Cool Kids
The other day I was headed out to see one of the sista' wives. On the way over I called to tell her I was swinging by Starbucks. Did she want anything? She asked if I would pick her up a non-fat latte. I walked into Starbucks (or as my husband refers to it 'The Evil Empire') and placed my order and hers and for a moment, I got to feel like one of the super cool coffee drinking kids!
Here's the thing. I can't drink coffee. Not because I haven't tried. Lord knows I've made an effort and the results are frightening. Coffee kicks my normal slightly-frenzied energy level up to a heart-pounding, sweaty, wide-eyed, cocaine addict on a bender level. Seriously, every time I have coffee people think I'm ill or crazy or both.
When I worked at my law firm I would ocassionally have a cup of coffee to get me through an all-nighter. Then I'd spend the rest of the evening explaining to my colleagues (almost all men) in a run-on sentence that "No, I was just fine and the fact that I wanted to review documents while running up and down the stairs in high heels was just because I had a little extra energy to burn off and while we were at it, did they need help with anything because I didn't think these last two 500 page documents were going to take me very long.' I also had to explain the word OB-GYN should NEVER be pronounced as though you've sounded it out but that's really a whole separate blog post.
So back to me and my coffee envy. Coffee is cool. There are coffee houses and coffee shops and coffee dates. Tea, my beverage of choice, isn't quite as edgy. Now you know exactly how uncool I am, since I just described coffee as edgy. My mother and the Queen of England drink tea. It's what I give my kids when they have tummy aches. And, I'm guessing it's what I'll be drinking for the foreseeable future. If you need me I'll be in the one in the corner drinking my non-fat chai tea, teabag misto with two pumps of sugar-free vanilla. But if you want me to stop and pick you up a latte, I'm totally your girl!