Friday, February 17, 2012

Are Tech-Gurus the New OB-GYN's?

As much as I am a Non-listener, my husband is a listener. He does an excellent job listening and lately what he's had to listen to most is complaints about my phone. It's old. It's slow. It takes a LONG time for my Starbucks app to load. I know!  Can you believe the hardships I suffer!?!

So, because he is sweet and kind he recently surprised me with a new phone.

The only problem was all the tweeting, buzzing, beeping, second-level security type things in my life. Their combined effect was one that made my phone more difficult to set up.

A lot more difficult to set up. After several syncs, data wipes and rounds of swearing I capitulated. It was clear I needed to make a trip to the Apple store to visit with one of their uber-cool techies, made even more uber-cool because they live in the heart of hipsterville.

Once there I experienced the rare thrill of technovindication. It took my tech guru thirty minutes and lots of research to figure out the interface bugs. In order to get everything working the way God Apple intended he needed access to my email, my Twitter app, my calendar and my grocery list app.
As my Apple techie inspected my grocery list (napkins, gummibear vitamins, salmon) and commented on my large amount of Twitter followers I couldn't help but mentally compare my in-person visit with tech support to my yearly gynecological exam.

There was the same imbalance of power. One person was poking, prodding, making quick notes and doing a little research. The other person was doing the cyber-equivelant of putting their legs up in stirrups and attempting to make polite conversation about the weather.

In both tech support and gynecological exams there is an implied social contract where the examiner makes a point not to comment on personal details of the examinee's life, such as who gets the gummi vitamins or an unusually shaped birthmark.

The good news is that after the exam, I mean visit to the Apple store, was over there was the familiar sense of relief.

Everything was in working order.

Together, my tech guru and I had conquered a necessary evil. It will now be another year (or two) before I have to face it again. More importantly, I'm sure everyone will be relieved to hear my Starbucks app is loading lickety split.

25 comments:

RachelMaryBean said...

You crack me up.

Kathleen Barker said...

Gee, I never thought of the Apple Genius Bar as concierge medicine!

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

I felt wrong reading this, but I did anyway.

Beylit said...

I needed a good giggle this morning.

Melissa Bradley said...

LOL this is too true! I never thought about the tech in quite those terms before, but yeah, I agree. :)

Anne Gallagher said...

Ha, which is why my phone only has phone service. I wouldn't even know how to use it any other way.

Pame Brennan said...

I smile with a certain amount of smugness that my phone, while not the huge brick of the past, is old enough to prevent me from complicating my life. Thanks for the chuckle!

Joan Hazel said...

That is too funny. I will never look at a tech guru quite the same!

Jenny S. Morris said...

LOL. Tech support compared to your OB-GYN. HA! Glad you were able to get that Starbucks app working right.

Johanna Garth said...

Glad you enjoyed it Rachel!

Kate, I love the phrase "Concierge Medicine"

Alex, always happy to provide you with uncomfortable reading material

Beylit, I read your blog and YES you did!

Melissa, I think they need to sign some sort of confidentiality agreement ;)

Anne, I'm in awe? How do you answer tweets at the grocery store?

My pleasure Pame!

Joan, I hope I haven't ruined the apple bar for you.

Julie said...

This totally cracks me up, and is such an accurate comparison. It actually made me cringe as I have the dreaded annual exam coming up next month, ugh. Such a clever post!

Misha Gericke said...

Hahaha there is something about mobile phone privacy...

Glad to know you sorted everything out. :-)

Connie J Jasperson said...

Oh good lord, you crack me up! I always feel so much happier after a dose of Losing Sanity!

Tonja said...

Yes, exactly!

Anne Gallagher said...

Johanna, I had to laugh. I don't Tweet from anywhere but home and only usually at 6am with my first cup of joe. I'm too old for new-fangled technology.

Ross M Kitson said...

OMG-there's a Starbuck's app. What possible use is that? You need to start being concerned if your gynaecologist starts doing the 'slide to shut down' thing... :-0

Johanna Garth said...

Julie, sorry to make you cringe!

Misha, I know...it's my whole life in there.

Connie, job done (walks away, brushing off hands)

Thanks Tonja!

Anne, tweeting is made to kill time waiting on lines.

Ross, YES, you can use it to pay for your overprice cup of coffee. GENIUS!! And I'm not even going to touch the second sentence of your comment.

Melinda said...

OK, fits of giggles here. I will never, ever look at the Apple guys the same way again. Too funny, and oh so true.

jenny milchman said...

How'd your test results come back??

LOL--the phone photo at first looked like stirrups to me. (Not the horse kind). Power of suggestion!

Teresa Cypher aka T K CypherBuss said...

Lol...This is a very unique take on visiting the Apple store :-) "...hipsterville..." Yes, indeed! I am so glad I am not the only one who feels this way ;-)

Cool Black Hawk said...

it's nice to read your post on this blog....
I'd like to invite you too to follow me. thanks ^_^

Caitlin said...

Haha! Oh god, my husband is looking at me like I'm crazy for how hard I'm laughing at this. Next time I have a buggy issue with my phone that someone has to work on I'm going to be fighting back giggles.

Dianne K. Salerni said...

Thanks, Johanna!

After staring at green ink editing marks for several hours, revising paragraphs until they make no sense any more, and quietly having a panic attack ...

I really needed a good laugh.
The stirrup picture just about did me in.

Lisa Zhang Wharton said...

I have an iPhone and love it. I'm so attached to it. If I don't have it with me, I feel a sense of lost. So far, I haven't had to visit the Apply guru once. I use it to facebook, tweet, check stocks, read books, check weather, wakeup, check my book ranking and recently I event look at Carribean Cruise deals.

naida said...

lol! ahhh...the wonders of modern technology.