Monday, March 19, 2012

A Wedding

In the last month I've sort of angsted, on this blog and in person to all my friends, about whether our daughters will be able to reject the prepackaged messages fed to them about what it means to be a girl.

Everywhere I look I see article after article citing early puberty for girls. I read stories, with mixed amounts of horror and sadness, about fifth grade girls performing oral sex. And I look at the role models that seem to be role models for plastic surgery and tight clothes instead of confidence and self-esteem.

The world seems to be afloat in a sea of negativity about our daughters. They're growing up too fast, they're too fat, too thin, overly manipulated by media and unkind to each other in social situations.

Which is why I was so pleased when my daughter announced that fourth grade class would be celebrating a girls only wedding.

One girl proposed to another and that, combined with the love of planning an event, gave birth to a wedding. It will be a backyard event at one of the bride's homes. Jellybeans will be served but no peanuts, because one of the brides has a peanut allergy. Although, I've been told the option of pistachios in the shell was being thrown around during Friday recess.

"Am I invited?" I asked my daughter.

"Did you get an invitation?" she asked me.


"That kind of says it all, right mom."

The invitations have all gone out by email. The girls without email accounts are to receive their invitations by hand delivery.

My daughter, as best friend to both brides, will be a bridesmaid. Another girl is designing the dresses for the entire wedding party with possible assistance from Goodwill Industries.

"It's casual dressy, mom," she told me. "But don't get too excited because you don't need a dress since you're not invited."

Child #1 and one of the brides-to-be
"Right, I remember that," I said.

The wedding guests will be almost exclusively fourth grade girls, with two notable exceptions.

The first, is the bride's little sister, who is going to be the flower girl. The second, is a fourth grade boy who plays with these girls and will be officiating the ceremonies, as priest or rabbi, or possibly both.

The date is set for April 7th.

I hope they have a glorious spring morning for their wedding. But whether the sun is shining or not I will be happy in the knowledge that this group of girls is writing their own rules. Of course, I'll have to be happy from afar since, you know, I'm not invited.


Hart Johnson said...

Oh, how very cute! I hope they have a fabulous time!

Kristen Wixted said...

That's serious girl power!

I hope they have a photographer for you, since you're not invited.

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

Silly but fun!

Michael Di Gesu said...

Good for them... I unfortunately have to agree with the first part of your post. So many horror stories for all kids to fit in.

Thankfully there are concerned parents like yourself Johanna to keep them healthy and aware.

I hope that have THE perfect wedding.

Beylit said...

This is great! Good on them.

L. Diane Wolfe said...

Oh now sweet!

It's sad when you see grade school aged girls dressed like, well, dressed like hookers. I saw two in the mall recently with their mother and I so wanted to ask why she let them out of the house looking like that. They will grow up soon enough. Let them be little girls right now.

Tericared said...

Girl Power in action, I love it.

Johanna Garth said...

Thanks Hart!

Kristen, I'm going to suggest a photographer. I'm sure they will lOVE that idea.

Alex, yes, so silly!

Thanks Michael!

Hi Beylit, thanks!

L. Diane, I so agree!

Colene Murphy said...

I remember reading about the sexual things a few years ago, which is shocking enough! But the violence and meanness is what has shocked me the most of all! I don't remember girls being so cruel and hateful! And I think it has SO MUCH to do with the negative self esteem and bad images and role models. Sad sad sad...But that sounds FREAKING ADORABLE about your girls class!! That's so cool!

Angela Cothran said...

I can't believe you aren't invited :) I have a 7 year old who has the best self esteem. She told me the other day...I'm nice to people. That is why I'm so happy.

Carol Kilgore said...

This is the most uplifting and heartwarming post I've read all day. Such a good thing for those girls. April 7 will be a fun and exciting day!

Unknown said...

This is so awesome, I have no words. What powerful, determined, strong young girls they are. It makes me proud to be a woman hearing stories like this. Thanks for sharing, your daughter and her friends rock!

PK HREZO said...

I hear ya. I worry so much about what my daughter may be exposed to as she grows. (she's 5)
I feel like I have to arm her for the world--in preparation for the possible damage it can cause. It makes me cringe when so many girl stories revolve around the prince whisking them away... or about trying to get the guy.
Send those sweet little girls many good wishes from me! Hope they have a wonderful time... and cheers to girl power!

Talli Roland said...

Awww! That's so sweet. Perhaps you can be the photographer? I'd love to see some photos. :)

Anonymous said...

This is a crazy world we live in. Somehow, the pervies have taken over Madison Avenue and the entertainment industry. I have two daughters and there is so much aimed at them as a target market that we will not let them watch or listen to. Its disgusting and I'm amazed more people are not speaking out against it.

Unknown said...

Aww, I love this! There are times where I'm fearful for the future that my daughter will have, but stories like these make me feel a little less scared.