Wednesday, November 14, 2012
Strippers, Catwomen of the Night and Cozy Cup Bras
My prostitution obsession was based on several key half-truths. I believed prostitutes were glamorous women who got to stay up late and wear beautiful clothes.
Someone, somewhere along the line, aided this misconception by referring to them as "ladies of the night" which made me readjust my definition. Suddenly I saw prositutes as slinky, glamorous ladies who got to stay up ALL NIGHT LONG. Staying up all night long is a big deal when you're ten. In my mind prostitutes became something like Catwomen of the night; cool clothes, cooler attitude, all night parties, fighting against evil and swishing their tails. At ten, I was certain I wanted to be a Catwoman of the night.
I cornered her when her brother and dad where out of the house. "I hear you've been talking about strippers a lot." She had the good sense not to admit or deny, gave me the preteen version of taking the 5th so I continued. "Do you know what they are?"
"Umm yeah, they're these women who take off all their clothes on stage so men can see their boobs."
"What do you think about that?"
"I think its really weird."
Then I got lucky, not stripper or Catwoman of the Night lucky, just plain old mom lucky because she opened up. "So some of the girls at my Girl Scout meeting were acting really weird and saying they want a Cozy Cup Bra and talking about how animals have sex, but I don't want to do any of that."
"A Cozy Cup Bra?" I asked, ignoring the animal sex issue.
"Yeah." She made a face, sort of like pretend vomiting.
"That's the worst bra name ever," I told her. "It's like you're supposed to wear it and sit around drinking hot chocolate."
She giggled, no eye-roll.
"They might as well call it the 'My Parent's Don't Want Me to Have Boobs Bra' or the 'Breast Bud Bra' or the 'First Hint of Puberty Bra'.
More giggling, we were on a roll, so I decided to ask the question I was tiptoeing around. "Are you in the market for a Cozy Cup of your own?"
She ignored the question, did a cartwheel and on her way out of the kitchen said, "I'll think about it and get back to you."
I think we made progress. It's a step in the right direction. Now all I have to do is find some time to dig deeper into the animal sex thing.