Friday, February 22, 2013

Dude Looks Like A Lady

A Girl and Her Hamster
Child #1 waited six solid months for Nixie Noo-Noo, as she's known when we're feeling affectionate.

Our household was in such a hamster frenzy over Ninjy Hamster that it was apparent to everyone but me a second hamster was in the cards.

Nixie arrived on Christmas and she is actually a he.

Child #1 really, really wanted a girl, but since I refuse to deal with hamster pregnancies and hamsters eating their young, we just decided to do a gender reassignment.

 Nothing shocking about that, I mean come on, we live in the People's Republic of Portland where the only citywide goal I've identified is expressed on bumper stickers and t-shirts reminding everyone to 'Keep Portland Weird'.

But back to the hamster. At first she was just Nixie, but since my kids like their hamsters with a healthy serving of backstory, she's since developed into Nixie Minaj, pop star to the hamster world.

"She gives concerts from her cage at night. Want to know what she sings?" I was walking the kids to school while my daughter was expounding on hamster world happenings.
Science Project Fodder
"I know," I told her. "I can hear them from my room. Which is true. By ten o'clock both my kids' rooms sound like hamster mosh pits.

She sang it anyway. To the tune of of Nicki Minaj's Starships. "Some hamsters are meant to fly. Paws up and touch the sky." After that I was treated to a rendition of "Sleep All Day," sung to the tune of Pound the Alarm.

Meanwhile, it saddens me to report that Ninjy has passed on to the big cage in the sky. It was either a heart attack or internal injuries. Hamsters are heart attack prone so we're going with the first alternative.

Although Ninjy was mourned deeply for several hours he was replaced later that day by Nibble, who true to his name, has performed some surgical nibbling upon child flesh. But we are nothing, if not hardy hamster tamers at the Garth household because Nibble is being loved into submission coming around.

When Nibble's not biting my kids, his backstory is trainer to the hamster stars. That's right, he's responsible for the workout that keeps Nixie Minaj looking sweet and chubby.

We may have one gender-reassigned pop star hamster and another who, in the voice of Child #2 talks a lot about push ups, but at least we won't have babies. Maybe Nixie Minaj will be inspired to write a song about that.


Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

Sorry about Ninjy. Not sure I'd want a singing hamster either.

Unknown said...

Hmmm. Hamsters.
Very interesting and funny read and quite the adorable photo of your daughter and her rodent--I mean hamster.
Always fun to stop by for a read.
~Just Jill

jaybird said...

I love how creative your kids are!

Sorry to hear about Ninjy- it's always tragic when a beloved pet passes on. There is much pomp and circumstance at the Bird's Nest when this happens. My girls tend to go for a "New Orleans" approach to a funeral, with music and marching, lol. God forbid we ever move, my yard is like a mine field littered with tiny boxes containing gold fish and beta bones :)

Joanne Noragon said...

It seems you have a nascar maze, so I won't be surprised to learn the hammies are flying cars.

Johanna Garth said...

Thanks Alex, the kids were really sad.

Jill, she LOVES that rodent.

Jaybird, your kids sound pretty creative with their funerals too :)

Joanne, isn't that cool? It was part of a science project.

Connie J Jasperson said...

I'm feeling rather sad about Ninjy's demise! I do thing a Kia Soul is in your future...Hamsters like to get down to the thump and bump of a good car audio system.

Michael Di Gesu said...

It's always sad when a pet leaves us, but at least the arrival of a new member of the family replaces sadness with joy!

I hope he doesn't keep you up late at night singing!

Gwen Gardner said...

Such awesome backstories. Your kids have wonderful imaginations which they must have gotten from you! RIP little Ninjy *bows head in silent prayer*

L. Diane Wolfe said...

Portland will always be weird.

Sorry about your hamster. I don't blame you for getting a male. I brought home a rat from the pet store many years ago and not only was it a female, she was pregnant. I had fun getting rid of all those baby rats.

Carol Kilgore said...

Poor Ninjy. And Nixie never got a chance to say goodbye. Nibble, on the other hand, may have learned the hard way about Nixie's reassignment and is taking out his frustrations on every hand handy.

Jennifer Shirk talked today about potty training her guinea pig.

Maybe the two of you could swap stories :)

Nicki Elson said...

And the hampster family keeps on rockin. RIP, Ninjy.

Chuck said...

Interesting...Austin, TX sports the Keep Austin Weird bumper monopoly there, eh?

Sorry about the hamster wake you held but it doesn't sound like it lasted too long. I like the science project!

The Bookworm said...

awww...sorry about Ninjy Hamster.
Your young ones do have great imaginations! My daughter wanted a hamster too, but we all agreed Diego would go into a deep depression if we brought another animal into his domain.

Shell Flower said...

Aw, Ninjy! So sad, but at least you made him famous and he lived a good life. I love that you have a gender-reassigned hamster in Portland. Doing your part to keep Portland weird. Excellent. Has your daughter sewn them any clothes yet?