Wednesday, May 29, 2013
Get Healthy: We're Done. It's Over. I'm Through.
I eat right, exercise, don't watch too much T.V., walk instead of drive, don't smoke, etc... In fact, I'm so healthy that it's probably kind of annoying, which is why I'm not going to write about that kind of healthy.
Mentally, I'm less of a paragon of virtue.
I worry, angst, agonize and indulge in relationships that are anything but healthy. My husband, who is not on the list of unhealthy relationships, has long said to me, "Stop wasting your time on these people who make you miserable."
Which, like all good advice, is easier said than done.
Especially because some of the people who make me the most miserablest (I'm in the middle of a confession here, please don't correct my grammar or spelling) are tangentially related to me.
This year my book club read, The Chronology of Water, by Lidia Yuknavitch. It's an autobiography and the author talks about creating your own family filled with warmth and love.
That idea resonated deeply.
Instead of letting the flow of negative, hate-type speech wash me down into the gutter I decided to back away, slowly, from certain relationships that are the equivalent of toxin-filled car wrecks. Even though I made the decision, it's still hard to let go. This weekend I took the first definitive step to backing away, in the most twenty-first century of ways.
I did some unfriending on Facebook.
The first thing I felt was a sense of loss. It felt reckless, like I had cut away a part of my life that had always been there, which is true. It always has.
The second thing I felt was relief, the bone-deep kind. I'm free from Facebook-feed stealth bombs of generalized hate and negativity. True, it's a small step, but it felt skywriting enormous.
It left me thinking about family; not the kind that tries to draw blood with venomous words, but the other kind, where love is a given and unconditional.
If you aren't borne into that kind of extensive network, it's up to you to create it; your tribe, your friends, your village and your life filled with love. We get the love we accept and I'm getting healthy by insisting the loves in my life be radiant and poison-free.