Friday, June 7, 2013

My Inner Editor Lives at Home

It's true.

She has her own bedroom carpeted in pink shag and a beanbag chair where she can hang out and read all my blog posts.

Although, read might be too strong of a word. I think peruse is a better description.

Last week I was confronted in the kitchen about a guest post that Hart Johnson did on my blog entitled "Can We Love Our Second Children As Much" in which she talked about her recently released second book.

"Mom," my inner editor said, blocking my path to the office. "How could you write that? Is that really the way you feel about Child #2? You really don't love him as much as you love me?"

Understandably, I was a little slow on the uptake. My inner editor cleared it up by showing me the blog post.

"Did you read past the title?" I asked.

"Yes!" My inner editor HATES questions like that.

"Huh. So you saw I didn't write that post and that it was a metaphor for a second book?"

In lieu of a response my inner editor informed me that she, under no circumstances, will ever wear an "I'm a Peg-a-Sister" shirt. From this, I've taken it to understand that I can't hide my Christmas list ideas on the open forum of my blog.

My inner editor has a long list of things she'd prefer me not to talk about on my blog. The mere act of speaking the words is tantamount to betrayal so I won't speak, spell or even think them in the private recesses of my brain.

Even though they'd make really, really good blog posts, in the interests of household harmony they're going to have to sit on ice until my inner editor is slightly older, you know, like thirty-six with kids of her own.

Inner editors are tough customers.

Especially when they can burst into your bathroom while you're taking a shower and insist on heated conversation while you're trying to wash your hair. In order to avoid moments like that, this summer, instead of posting about pre-teen angst, I might be talking about censor-approved subjects like ice cream, swimming, road trips and books.

Luckily, I still get free reign in my novels. And luckier still, lots of character insight into the ups, downs and switchback roads of a pre-teen mind.

What about you? Is your inner editor the kind of tough critic who haunts you in the shower? Or does yours give you a little more leeway?

12 comments:

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

Fortunately mine came with an off switch. And even if he did jabber while I'm in the shower, my brain isn't on yet anyway so I wouldn't be paying attention.

Michael Di Gesu said...

LOL.

Glad I don't have a living, breathing, and shall I say, vociferous inner editor hanging out in my shower.

Have a great weekend Johanna .... even with your inner editor. LOL.

~Sia McKye~ said...

LOL! Oh, my son, a few nieces and nephews, have taken exception to some family stories and a few of my opinions on things. Oh my lord, if I listened to the entire list do-nots I'd have nothing to write about.

I don't go out of my way to embarrass but I won't stop writing about my life either. I merely say, I'll take that under advisement.

Seriously, for kids nothing is more embarrassing than seeing cute (in our eyes) stories or comments about them. Regardless of the format or the intent. An innocent comment can be taken so many ways and usually not at all the way it was written or spoken. My son got embarrassed by all sorts of mama observations or actions. My son is now 18 and the nieces etc are all 18 and over and not nearly as picky. Some are telling cute stories about their own kids...

Sia McKye OVER COFFEE

ilima said...

Haha. I'm curious what your inner editor will say about this post. My inner editor is reading my book right now. She's already had a comment about my first chapter that makes me want to pull my hair out, but we'll see how it goes... :)

Johanna Garth said...

Alex, I think mine has an off switch too and it's called music and headphones.

Thanks Michael. It's supposed to be beautiful and sunny here so looking forward to it.

Sia, so true. My favorite stories don't pass the censor-rating.

Ilima, I've been wondering the same thing :D

Melissa Bradley said...

Mine has moved in, but has yet to pay rent or help with the bills. I hate her and I love her. It's a sick relationship. :)

M Pax said...

Mine gives me some leeway, but makes first drafts slow. But I have fewer revisions, so I consider it a fair pay off. Sometimes it let's me just write a note on a post-it and stick it to my monitor for later.

Have a great weekend, Johanna.

Joanne Noragon said...

Mine read and leave editor's notes. The teen either is quite tolerant or saving it for a therapist someday.

Jan Newman said...

Groan. I get no privacy, no slack. Leeway? What's leeway? :)

Neurotic Workaholic said...

My inner editor is always bothering me. I try to distract her with coffee and chocolate, which is why I usually write in cafes.

Donna K. Weaver said...

Yeah. Inner editors can be a pain. I try not to listen--until I need it. :D

Diana Wilder said...

My inner editor asks questions like 'Are you SURE that's what you wanted to say?" When I finally clench my teeth and say Yes.It.Is.What.I.Wanted.To.Say.So.Get.Lost it does. Then, when on reread I clutch my hair and say, aloud or in my mind OmigoshdidIreallysayTHAT??? it grins and says Aha! AHA!
Diana at About myself, by myself…