Monday, November 18, 2013

Email Bombs and Dog Crates

Every now and then I open my inbox and find a small explosion waiting for me. On Friday, I was cc'd on one of those bomb-type messages. It was a response, drafted by my husband, to our son's third grade teacher who is darling, sweet, very sincere and possibly not yet of legal drinking age.

Below, for your edification, follows the email exchange that blew up my Friday inbox

From: Darling, sweet teacher
To: Parents

I am seeing improvements in [your son's] behavior.  He started to get a little bit goofy yesterday morning but after some redirection he fixed his behavior.  He likes to get out of his seat a lot to chat with other students at inappropriate times.  This is something I am going to continually work on with him and if you can reinforce this at home, that would be great!  Overall, I think he did a nice job so far this week and I look forward to seeing more and more improvements every day!  Thanks so much for your support!

[My son? Chatty!?! You're all shocked, I'm sure!]

From: Husband, aka email terrorist
To: Darling, sweet teacher

Sure thing. We will continue to use appropriate methods to facilitate behavior improvement. You know, some methods include removing screen time or taking away Halloween candy and desserts. Sometimes the preferred techniques include electroshock treatment or handcuffing them to the radiator. I would lock him in the dog carrier we bought to transport his and his sister's hamsters from Oregon, but he actually enjoys hanging out in that container. So, I guess I'll have to come up with something else. 
I was joking of course, all except for the part about the dog carrier. 

Later in the day my husband called from the busy world of meetings and important goings-on that preclude him from making daily pick-up and drop-off appearances at our children's school.

Him: Any word from the teacher?

Me: I'm not speaking to you!

Him: What? It was funny. She'll know I'm kidding.

Me: The principal wears a suit every day. This is not Portlandia.

Him: It was good stuff!

Me: On the subject of dog crates...I hope our son isn't the only one who likes them.

I know what the women who read this blog are thinking, but as a good friend of mine likes to say when her husband indulges in inappropriate dinner party conversation, "Sorry ladies, you can't have him. He's ALL mine."


Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

I thought it was funny!
Of course if social services comes calling, his response might lose its charm.

Beylit said...

That is funny.
If it were my husband (and I can totally see him doing something like this) I would at this point have to hang my head and say "No no ladies, I saw him first".

Barbara Watson said...

That's a great dinner party response. :-) Your friend is wise.

A Beer for the Shower said...

I love using answers like that. They're a great way of telling if someone is cool, or a huge stick in the mud. Never fails.

Connie J Jasperson said...

Your hubby is a great man! Awesome response to the inexperienced teacher--who now knows there is something in the coffee those wacky Pacific Northwesterners drink obsessively.

Botanist said...

This cheered me up in the middle of a dark Monday breakfast! Thanks for sharing.

Lisa Gail Green said...

Hahahaha! I have a twisted sense of humor. ;D And YES btw I'd love those links you spoke of.

Weaver said...

That was hilarious. Your hubby has a great sense of humor. Anyone who can't appreciate the snark needs to get over themselves. lol

D.G. Hudson said...

You must remember this - school boards and some staff have no sense of humor. My hubs has that quirky sense of humor, which needs to be quelled on occasion.

I was the one who dealt with the school boards. I went right to the problem, he would have told them a joke to lighten the mood. He also had no patience with their silly rules.

Johanna Garth said...

Alex, he thought it was hilarious too.

Beylit, exactly!

Barbara, totally agree.

ABFTS, he sees it similarly.

Connie, happily she had a sense of humor about it.

Botanist, so glad to bring some cheer to a dark morning.

Lisa, will TRY to get them to you today.

Donna, it's all funny until I have to go to pick-up!

DG, sounds like our husbands would get along well.

Rachel Schieffelbein said...

That is hilarious! My husband will be jealous he didn't think of it. ;)

Neurotic Workaholic said...

That's funny! I must admit that if I was the teacher, though, I might actually freak out at first before realizing he was just joking.

Dianne K. Salerni said...

Did he really send it?
I would have ROFLMAO if I was the teacher who received that email.

M Pax said...

They send emails now? It is pretty funny, until it goes horribly wrong.

Julie Flanders said...

This is hilarious but then I'm also cringing a little bit thinking about how some people have no sense of humor at all and may take it seriously. LOL if I was a teacher I would love it. :D