Wednesday, March 12, 2014

Tweenpod, Defined

The other morning I had to Google Tribbles. When the furry little creatures popped up on my screen I realized they look a lot like a Pygmy Puff. For those of you not in the know, Pygmy Puffs are a favorite pet of house Hufflepuff as envisioned by J.K. Rowling.

It just so happens I know a LOT about Pygmy Puffs.

My daughter is a longtime fan. We have a couple Pygmy Puffs lying around the house, thankfully they don't multiply like Tribbles, but what struck me as I was mentally comparing Tribbles and Pygmy Puffs is I now  have a Tweenpod in the house.

Tweenpod, a phrase coined by my daughter circa 3rd grade, is a teenage Pygmy Puff. During that period of my parental history I was routinely referred to as Mama Pygmy Puff. Maybe, my haste to put my Mama Pygmy Puff years behind me was part of the reason it took me so long to spot my own legitimate Tweenpod Pygmy Puff.

In case you're wondering if you have one of your own, here are my top five signs and helpful hints for spotting and dealing with a Tweenpod.

1. Tweenpods are often found behind locked bedroom doors. They enjoy communicating this way. Try not to raise your voice. This will only anger your Tweenpod.

2. Tweenpods enjoy conversation with you. They want to cuddle with you and sit close to you on the couch. They want to know what you're reading and why. They also want to be left alone. They need their space and they need it NOW! Failure to correctly intuit your Tweenpods mood will result in their hibernation back behind locked doors.

3. Do not say the following words around your Tweenpod. "Breast" "Period" "SexEd" "Crush" You might think saying these words in a different context, such as 'Who'd like the chicken breast?' is fine.

You are incorrect.

Any use of the above words will cause your pink Tweenpod to turn red and your purple Tweenpod to develop an interesting shade of blue.

4. No matter how much food your purchase for your Tweenpod, you'll need more. Double all recipes. Don't be alarmed when your Tweenpod devours your leftovers. Let them. They don't bite. Not usually.

5. Tweenpods don't like scenes.

Scenes are broadly defined. Your unwelcome presence in a room is occasionally tantamount to a scene. Scenes are less broadly defined in other contexts. Slamming doors, growling or cutting remarks are not scenes when performed by your Tweenpod. They are all nonverbal methods your Tweenpod uses to communicate your lack of understanding about their world.

Even though Tweenpods are often unpredictable, they're also often sociable, intelligent, enthusiastic and responsive to logic.

The best thing about Tweenpods is every so often you get a glimpse of the full grown Pygmy Puff they'll be in just a few short years. And that, truly is a treat.


Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

Now I have been educated on Tweenpods! I imagine they eat you out of house and home.

Beylit said...

That all sounds hauntingly familiar. I can now see why my mother removed my door from its hinges and left me with a curtain as a door.

Barbara Watson said...

So true. You do glimpst the full grown Pygmy Puff every now and again. :-)

Rachel Schieffelbein said...

Oh goodness, I am not looking forward to that age! My oldest daughter is getting dangerously close to it.

Carol Kilgore said...

Ah, yes. The dreaded Tweenpod. Beware!

L. Diane Wolfe said...

We don't want the tweenpods changing color.

Neurotic Workaholic said...

Hahaha, your post made me chuckle. Those Tweenpods reminded me a little of the Beanie Babies we all went nuts for years ago; I still have one or two of them. And I especially agree with your point about how Tweenpods want their own space; that was VERY important to me at that age, because I wanted to be independent.

Neurotic Workaholic said...

Oops, sorry, I meant those Tribbles reminded me of Beanie Babies, not Tweenpods.

Dianne K. Salerni said...

I've got one of those. She doesn't ever cuddle with me, though. Only her father. I am not the favored parent. Everything I say offends.

Unknown said...

Aah, the trouble with tribbles! LOL Been there. Mt tweenpod is all grown now but you nailed it!

~Sia McKye~ said...

Good news is: Mine is beyond tweenpod with similar restrictions, lol! Bad news? Well, some tweenpod behaviors don't disappear. EEK.

Sia McKye Over Coffee

Megan Bostic said...

Just wait until she is a full grown teenpod. Oy.

Julie Flanders said...

LOL. You'll always be Mama Pygmy Puff to me now. :D